Transformers: Age of Extinction

taoeThis is going to be the most ridiculous review of the year, I suspect. I liked Transformers: Age of Extinction. No. Really. And not in a snarky Batman and Robin kind of way.

That said, it’s a bad movie. The most terrible thing about it is the pacing. Sometimes you see a film and think it needs a trim, or a character or a subplot could have been taken out. That’s not what’s wrong with AOE. Every scene in this movie is too long. If you went through and trimmed every scene by about 5-10%, you’d have a taut thriller about alien robots.

Despite my fondness for the Shia films, Mark Wahlberg fits the tone of Transformers better. He’s capable of being funny, but he’s more of a intense presence. Stanley Tucci plays the troublesome technical expert less broadly than Turturo ever did. And Kelsey Grammer just makes things better. Always remember that, Hollywood. As for the female eye candy, at least this time around they didn’t try to pretend that Nicola Peltz could do things, like drive or fight or, you know, act. In this way she’s less embarrassing a presence than either Fox or Huntington-Whitely.

I think the third film might have had a slightly better story, but this film does hint at a bigger mythology that surrounds the “transformers” race of beings. That one hint that there is some agent out in the universe that created the transformers was delightful. No doubt, that will figure in the next thirty-five of these films they make.

Kelsey Grammer was in Transformers: Age of Extinction with Stanly Tucci. Stanley Tucci was in…

 

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